We weren't looking for another child. I just wanted to see this Guilin sweetie. Maybe my cousin could adopt her!
Fast-forward to June 6. My adoption clock has suddenly gone into overload. God is constantly in my thoughts about adoption. I know we are suppose to go again but I know Marty isn't ready. I start gathering info on children. None of them are ours but a couple of them do tug at my heart so I put their photos on the refrigerator so we'll all remember to pray that they will find their families. One of the agencies I contacted was Cradle of Hope, inquiring if I could view their list of waiting children. I'd forgotten that Xin Ru was on their list. I received a very quick response that the children remaining on their list had been returned to the CCAA and that they would be receiving a new list soon. I asked to be contacted when the new list came out. Another family was adopting Xin Ru so her file wasn't returned. She was coming home. They had posted their good news on WCC on May 12.
I didn't read the Yahoo groups for several days because I was busy with the kids since school had just ended for the year and we were going camping. I missed the post on May 26 from the family planning to adopt Xin Ru. They were no longer adopting her due to cirumstances beyond their control. (They have since found their beautiful daughter Olivia on another agency's list and will be bringing her home ASAP!) Xin Ru was available again and her file had not gone back with the other children's files to the CCAA.
On June 13 I read a post that said in part, "We're looking for a home for X.Y., a happy Chinese girl born in April 2004 with a cleft lip and palate. X.Y. had surgery to repair her lip. She is reported to be a healthy child who loves to walk and ride wooden horses. She enjoys being held and trying to sing along with her caretakers." I emailed Kelly at Cradle of Hope and asked if I could view X. Y.'s file. I had no idea it was sweet little Xin Ru. When I opened the file my heart almost stopped when I saw her sweet face again.
Xin Ru!!!
That name had been playing over and over in my mind. "Xin Ru" I remembered that Stephen Curtis Chapman mentioned that his second adopted daughter's name was Xin Bie Ru in a video. I thought that was why I'd had it in my brain.....but I hadn't watched those videos since we had brought Brinley home. That was 6 months ago! Why in the world would I remember that was their child's name? "Xin Ru"Here was my answer staring back at me on the computer screen. Our daughter's name.
"Xin Ru"
I quickly emailed Kelly and told her that Xin Ru and Brinley were from the same orphanage. Brinley had in fact come over and patted the computer screen and said, "Xin Ru!" and laughed. She said, "Mama, Xin Ru mei mei." Which in Brinley's vocabulary means Xin Ru is a baby. I guess that is how she remembers her. Xin Ru is eight and a half months younger than Brinley. I told Kelly that I was going to talk with my husband about her but he was out of town at the time. She told me that would be fine. How in the world could I tell Marty that I'd found our daughter? I prayed and God reassured me that he too would be talking to Marty. My faith was strong but I didn't get my hopes up. Maybe I was just imagining all of this. I prayed. God reassured me. I wept......and prayed more. "But God....did you remember to talk to Marty about this???" My only answer was "Fear not."Marty returned home the night of June 14. I didn't mention it to him. The next morning he asked me why I hadn't slept much. He asked if Brinley kept me awake. I said, "Yes, Brinley......and God." I'm sure he knew what was coming but he stayed calm. During breakfast he asked me what I'd meant. When I told him he still stayed calm but told me that he had doubts about whether or not we could handle another child...... I was crushed.
However, before he left for work, everything had turned around and we were definitely going to talk some more about it. Marty said I seemed to be more in tune with what we were suppose to do as far as adoptions. God must have been speaking to him. I emailed Kelly and told her that we needed a couple of days to look at our finances and would it be possible to let her know our definite answer Monday. I gave her some of our basic family info. She promptly emailed back, "I haven't had any other requests for information on Xinru so Monday should be fine as far as a deadline is concerned. " I had to answer a few more questions for her to let her know that we could truly possibly qualify to be Xin Ru's parents.
So, now I sit here waiting. Today is Friday. When Marty and I talk about Xin Ru it is in a positive light. She is our girl. The money is going to be tight and it will be a long road back to China but Yang Xin Ru is our daughter and it's time to bring her home.
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