Bailey Graduates K5

Today Bailey graduated from K5! We are so proud of her.  There are 3 K5 classes and she was chosen to say the prayer for the ceremony.  :)

They sang the Tooty Ta Song! I missed the end of it but Marty got it all on video.

Yes, I cried!

Bailey and her teacher Mrs. Sanders.  AWESOME teacher!

Bailey's Class

So very proud of Miss Bailey Shay XinRu!

Update

Ever since I've connected with most of my friends on FaceBook I have been blogging less and less. I have an instant connection to most of my friends on a daily basis now. I can zip a message over to Heather (who adopted Leila the first Chinese baby I ever gave my heart to). I can read about my friend Roxanne in Texas and her family. I can keep up with my friend Michele who lives right down the road. My friends Carol (California), Stephanie (Kentucky) and Holly (Colorado) were in China with us in 2005. Leslea and Chris (New York) were with us in 2007 during our trip to bring Bailey home. It is wonderful to see the people I spent so much time with as we were growing up....Dougie, Beth, Jody, George, Darlene, Terri, Orson, Janie, Iris, Kelly, Melody.....a huge list! I get to see their children and what they are doing in their lives. My friends Dawn, Tonni, Melissa, Melissa, Rachelle, Shelli and Karen waited along with us for news that we could all travel to China in 2005. Our world is definitely a smaller place thanks to FaceBook.

However, I do plan to blog more often now that our lives are changing. Most of our friends have never known what a struggle we have had with Bailey ever since we brought her home. She has had meltdowns, rages, tantrums almost every day that we have known her. These are the kind of rages that make you concerned about her hurting herself or one of us. She is very, very strong. We have tried many techniques, read dozens of articles and books. We were told she might have RAD, or she was bipolar. We've talked to doctors, participated in lectures and prayed that God would show us what is causing this fury in this tiny little person. I believe we have found the source of the problem. Food dyes, additives and preservatives. I read about the Feingold Program and how it has helped children live better lives. Many of the stories I read about these children sounded exactly like Bailey. We decided to give the program a try. It couldn't hurt her since it was just removing things from her diet. I am not kidding.....within 48 hours we were beginning to see a difference in her. A week brought about HUGE changes in her. We wondered if it was the diet or something else that had changed her. Last weekend Marty and I went to Myrtle Beach and the children stayed at my MIL's. We took Bailey's food but my MIL must not have understood how important this was. She pretty much allowed her to eat whatever she wanted. Sunday was a so-so day but yesterday......72 hours after consuming Frosted Flakes, pecan spins, tea, aspartame, Chinese take-out and other unknown culinary delights our girl hit the wall again. She had a major crying fit and meltdown. It didn't last long but it was ugly and it reminded me how important it is to monitor her food at all times to protect her from these horrible feelings. The Feingold program is not difficult to follow at all. I enjoy cooking so it's been great having new recipes to try. So far, I think Bailey's favorite new recipe has been the Sloppy Joes.
To all of our friends we have neglected, I do apologize. We have done our best to keep Bailey's meltdowns confined to our home. We have missed birthday parties and play dates because of it. We have been living in a very small world. I hope that all of you will understand and know that we love you. We are excited to watch Bailey laugh and giggle and enjoy life with much more joy than she has ever known. We are looking forward to the future with our sweet baby girl and hope to see each of you very soon.

Bin & Shay

I think this pic of the girls is so funny. Brice was trying to take some pictures of them. He put them by the pool facing the sun. They both started fussing at him and looking 'not so princess-ish'. He gave up and told them to go play because he was going back to take pictures of birds instead. LOL

A quick update

We started homeschooling in February and it is going pretty good. Still trying to figure out how everything works but we are getting there. Brice loves it and he is trying so hard to do a good job. The science we started out with just did not interest him at all. For all of you who know Brice, you know that he is a science lovin' kinda guy. My friend Rachelle recommended Apologia Science and he LOVES it! I am so glad! We are studying Flying Creatures of the Fifth Day. Bats, bugs, birds, etc.

The history we were using wasn't interesting to either of us so we have found another one that we are going to try. We've just started Mystery of History 1 so let's hope this one can keep his interest. I think he's going to like this one a lot more than Story of the World 4.

I started out doing Five In A Row with Brinley and Bailey and they really love it but it takes a lot of work on my part so until we get Brice settled into what works for him we have gone back to just doing some basic ABC's and working on cutting skills with Bailey and some more advanced things with Brinley. They both love homeschool so far. Brinley says she doesn't want to go back to school. I love having them here with me.

Bailey's tantrums seem to ebb and flow like the tides. Some days we only have one or two. Other days we have an unending string of tantrums and fits. Things do seem to be getting better for her. Last week she was crying and she sobbed, "Mama, I have a family in China and I don't REMEMBER them. I don't KNOW them! I can't find them, Mama!" It was so sad to hear these words in her tiny little voice. She was clinging to me and just sobbing her little heart out. She often tells me, "I love you, Mama. I stay with you and Daddy always." She was so tiny when she was found. No more than a few days old and yet she knows that she was abandoned and that she has a "China mama". I do get frustrated with her tantrums but I also look at her and I can't help but just feel so protective of her. She is so sweet, she will do anything for anyone. She loves all of us. She gladly sits on our laps, hugs us, gives us kisses, great eye contact....but she has something that is truly just eating away at her happiness. It makes me so sad. I watch her sleeping and I wonder exactly what is going on in that little head and heart.

Bailey's Guitar Solo

Bailey's favorite gift other than her Jeep is her pink guitar. Ever since she has been home she has played like she was strumming along on a guitar when she would hear music. Brice and I set out a few days before Christmas to find her one that she could play. I think we found the perfect one. She just loves it!

There is a lot of talking in the video because no one knew I was making it but you can see her "in action" and hear her say "hey! hey!". This child is a riot! Home for 5 months.....but seems like she's always been here!

Visiting The Orphanage

We are back in our room now after the orphanage visit.  It was a rough morning for Bailey.  When we arrived we met with "Nahnah" and were allowed to take some photos and video of her with Bailey. She also cared for Brinley while she was here in the Guilin SWI.

  We then passed out the candy we brought to some of the children outside.  Bailey had a best friend in the orphanage and we were allowed to go inside a classroom and let Bailey see him for one last time.  Bailey handed out candy to each of the kids in the classroom.  After that we visited a playroom and let Bailey hand out some more candy.  After a few minutes it was time to go.  Bailey had a hard time leaving and cried for a long time.  She cried all the way down the stairs and the entire time we met with the people in the orphanage office.

We were able to take photos of Brinley at the main gate this time.  We don't think this is the gate where she was found but it is the closest we could get to it.

The place where Bailey was found is close to the orphanage so we were able to go there and take some pictures.

Bailey was found beneath this tree in a small village near the orphanage. It is a very busy place in this village so we pray that she was found quickly.

  Then it was back in the van and back to the hotel to relax and calm down.  Bailey has stopped crying.  She's been playing with Brinley and just being a silly little girl.

Li River Cruise

Today we took the Li River cruise.  The scenery was very pretty and the cruise was quite relaxing. See the photo's we posted.  We saw a lot of little fishing villages and water buffalo.

Brinley made some new friends on the cruise.  Three young girls from Guangzhou were seated at our table and they fell in love with Brinley.  They helped her put stickers on her fingers and even tried to braid her hair.

After the cruise we stopped by a small shop to see if they had any bamboo sleeping mats.  The orphanage said they needed some so we wanted to buy some as gifts, but they did not have the size we needed.  We came back to the hotel and rested a while.  We even got in a short swim before we met Bob to walk to dinner.  There's a very nice park in front of the Bravo.  We walked around the park and visited a department store to buy some candy for the orphanage visit and some other items we wanted.  Then is was short walk to the Pizza Hut.  After dinner we took a stroll down what Bob called "the walking street".  Each night vendors set up tents along the street and people walk around.  It was nice and there were a lot of items for sale.  We bought Bailey a "Wedding Ball" so both she and Brinley will have one.  As I said it was nice, but very crowded.  The department store we went in looked like a WalMart on Christmas Eve times 10!

We missed the water and light show at the Waterfall Hotel, but we did see some people singing in the park.  There are colored lights in the trees and decorated boats on the lake at night.

Bailey is getting better.  She still does her "comfort rock" when she's upset or bored.  She may be small and look dainty, but she does have TEMPER.  She wanted our large bottle of aspirin and when Sharon said no, we got a screaming, foot stomping, slap the table, hit the floor fit from Miss Bailey!  We have some video that she should appreciate later in life!

Things have calmed down now.  Bailey and Brinley are still working things out.  Both have a lot of adjusting to do.

We meet Bob at 9:45 in the morning to visit the orphanage.  We'll see how that goes.  Brinley didn't have any problems, but Bailey is older.

Train To Guilin

Greetings from Guilin!  We just arrived in Guilin on the train.  It was an interesting trip.  Bob rode with us and we had a long time to talk to him and get to know him.  Sharon is trying to get him married off and start his own business!  The scenery was very pretty as it was last time.  We were on the top level of the train this trip so we got to see a little more.

Bailey is doing better today.  She sat on Sharon's lap the whole trip (4.5 hours) and slept a good bit.  Brinley slept some, but spent most of the trip playing with her new friend, Bob.  We have several pictures and a short video of them.

We've checked in at the Bravo Hotel and will meet Bob at 2:30 to get some lunch and see some sites.

More to come from Guilin later.

Paperwork & Notary

Bailey Shay is now officially a Millender girl! :)  HOOOORAY!!!  Today we did lots of paperwork and signed many papers and stamped our thumb prints on them, assured several people that we will love Xin Ru and will never abandon or abuse her and now she is OURS!!!

I still can't believe we finally have her with us.

Last night she went to sleep pretty quickly when I laid her down. She was on the bed with me. At around 1 I woke up to her laying on her chest with her knees drawn up and rocking herself  back and forth. She was looking at me but not making a sound. Just looking at me with fear. I rubbed her back and she calmed down and went back to sleep.  Around 5 she woke up again and started doing the same thing.  I picked her up and she started crying and pointing to the door. I scooped her up, ran a tub of water with lots of bubbles and she was giggling before I could even get her nightgown and diaper off of her. Brinley woke up a few minutes later and jumped in too. She's been fine all day. The lady from the orphanange who brought her to us yesterday saw her several times today and she would talk to her but she didn't want to go with her. She did fuss a bit when we did her footprint but only for a second.

All day today she's carried around a lollipop Marty bought for her yesterday. She's finally eating it right now and she is just as happy as can be.

Brinley goes back and forth between wanting to baby her and wanting to be the baby. That was expected.
Bailey is very ticklish and she has the funniest little giggle!  I still can't believe how tiny she is. She is wearing a size 12-18 months dress right now. I never thought it would fit her but they didn't have an 18/24 months when I bought it and I wanted her and Brinley to have matching dresses. I thought I'd have to put shorts on with it.
She and Brinley are both very silly when they get wound up!
Last night Bailey was standing in the window waving at the traffic 9 floors down and saying "Ni Hao! Hello!".
She repeats just about anything we tell her.

She is wearing size 6 shoes.

We will post more photos in a bit.

Thank you so much for all of the emails and messages!
Every single one of them means so much!!

GOTCHA! :)

We've made it to Nanning and it is about 1:10pm. We meet our guide Bob in the lobby at 3 to go and meet Bailey.  We will post again ASAP!

LOVE TO ALL!!!!  :)

It's now 4:54pm in Nanning and we are back in the hotel room with our new daughter, Bailey!  She is a lot smaller than we expected.  Things went as well as can be expected since Bailey is a little older than Brinley was.  There were a lot of tears when the SWI workers left the room. Brinley did okay until we got in the van, but then she got upset since Bailey was upset and we had a full fledged cry fest on our hands.  I think Bailey was a bit confused when Brinley started crying because she got quiet!  It's calm at the moment. She is now playing with Sharon and Brinley on the floor.  I think Bailey is trying to see just how many pony tail holders one little Chinese girl can fit on her arm! We can tell Brinley only has older brothers. She's a little on the rough side with her new sister.  I'm sure Sharon will post more later.

Mama's turn:
Bailey is definitely smaller than I thought she would be. She weighs close to 23 pounds and she comes up to just about Brinley's ear.
This poor baby absolutely grieved and was gripped with panic when she realized that she'd been left alone with strangers. When we got to the room she laid down on the floor and started rocking her tiny body back and forth and just cried her little heart out.

We've made a lot of progress since then. She's had a good bath that she absolutely loved and is now squeaky clean!  She and Brinley are playing and running around now. They are moving all of their toys and books from the bed to the little table.

I just leaned down and said, "Mama ching-uh?" and she leaned her cheek over for a kiss. Now she is sitting on my lap giving her baby doll a bottle.

She is just as sweet as can be!  Brinley is doing her best to be a great sister. So far she's only pushed her down one time! lol

Thank you so much to everyone for your prayers!!!